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then that there are people from their family who
were injured, and then passed.
•
Make sure the child understands that the decea-
sed had no other choice, that their death was not
something they wanted, and that they did not want
to abandon him /her, and that death happens wi-
thout anyone being able to control it.
•
With the right emotional tone, make them reali-
ze that adults around them have not lost control.
Children can and must perceive that adults are
sad, or cry, and feel just like them, but still manage
to maintain control of the situation. You should not
say the following in front of a child: “I want to die
too” or “what will become of us?”.
•
Try to find, despite how difficult it can be in such
circumstances, positive aspects of the event to bring
some comfort to the child. You can tell them, for ins-
tance: “he did not suffer”, if we are talking about the
death of someone close in an attack.
•
Always provide the greatest emotional support,
children must feel supported and loved. It is im-
portant to express such support, which should be
adjusted to their age and the relationship we have
with them. Hugging and caressing them, which can
show affection in some cases, may be inappropriate
in others.
•
Help them solve the problems that their loss ge-
nerates: “Can I go to the same school?”, “Will I go
to a new house to go to live near my other gran-
dparents?”, “Will I lose my friends?”, “Will we have
money?”.
•
We should give explanations about death that are
consistent with the child's education and with the
explanations that may be given by other close peo-
ple.
What else can you do?
•
It is recommended that children, to the extent of
their abilities and ages, participate in services or
rituals that they can understand, and in the case
of children aged 8-10 years, to take decisions on
whether they feel like taking part.
•
It is important that they are surrounded by their
friends, not just their family during the service. It
is also significant to remember those who are no
longer with us on their anniversaries. In these si-
tuations, those closest to them may feel sadder or
more sensitive.
•
It should be borne in mind that the explanations
about death and its circumstances must be adjus-
ted to the child's age and experiences, as well as
to their understanding of the concept of death. In
children, fears and nightmares about their own
death or close relatives may appear. Discuss them
and clarify any issues that may generate greater
discomfort.
•
We must help them solve their doubts: Why are
people are buried? Why, if the sky is up? Clarify, to
children who will have this information and partici-
pate in the burial or cremation, that being crema-
ted does not cause their loved ones any pain, and
that being buried will not suffocate them.