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26
HOW CAN I DEAL
WITH THE MEMORIES
OF THE ATTACK AND
FEARED SITUATIONS?
O
nce we manage to reduce the discomfort
of the first days or weeks, we will need
to deal with many situations that we had
been avoiding. The guidelines mentioned above and
your social support can help you move on.
We often avoid our own memories from a traumatic
experience, but we must gradually force ourselves
to learn to endure. We propose some simple reco-
llection exercises. However, the exercises described
below should never be done in the early stages, nor
should anyone be forced to carry them out. Many
people need help to realize them and some may not
be able do so without specialized psychological su-
pport.
How can we help ourselves remember?
The exercise of forcing yourself to think about it,
to remember it, is based on the fact that people
affected by an attack may avoid remembering what
happened during the early stages. This is actually
a healthy reaction that can help avoid their suffe-
ring. However, remembering what happened can
help you assimilate it, and thus give a new meaning
to your life. Forcing yourself to not think about the
attack could even make thoughts reappear more in-
tensely.
If you choose to avoid thinking about it either be-
cause of how distressful it is to you, or because your
recollection is chaotic and unclear, there is an exer-
cise that may help you with that.
It’s about sharing the experience, and letting your
memories of what happened just flow. This may be
a very hard exercise, which can cause great suffe-
ring, especially for people who have been directly
affected by the attack. Hence the importance of
sharing this experience with others, whether close
relatives or professionals. When you feel ready to
begin, find a quiet and relaxing place:
•
Give a first-person account of what happened. You
were there, you suffered, saw and felt everything
that happened at that time.
•
Tell it in the present tense. It is essential to revive
the event as if it were happening: “I'm at the sta-
tion platform”, “I’m entering the concert hall”, “I’m
walking down a street full of restaurants.”
•
Describe everything you saw, felt, heard and thou-
ght. This means, everything that the event gene-
rated in you. To help you share the experience,
you can try to answer some of these questions:
How do you describe what is happening? Where
are you? What are you doing now? Who is you
with? How long does it last? What are you doing to
survive? What are your first thoughts? What were
you thinking when they evacuated you or did you
leave the premises on your own? What happened
next? What thoughts of that situation continue to
appear in your mind? What were you feeling at that
moment? What did you feel after it happened? Is
there anything that you particularly remember?
How are you feeling right now?